Miss Sieber’s Scientology Story

Posted by on October 9, 2012 in Voices In Unison | Comments Off on Miss Sieber’s Scientology Story

I was enrolled in Ability School at the age of 6. For those who don’t know, Ability School is a private school in Englewood NJ that is based on Scientology and the teachings of the tech for learning/studying. I spent my time there until the age of 15, and it ruined my life deeply.

Of course at the age of 6, I had no idea what I was being put into. My mother thought she was doing the best for me, as all mothers would do. It didn’t take long before I realized I wasn’t happy. The school itself did not teach us anything of importance for general schooling in the real world. They mostly based their teachings on reading books and clearing up misunderstood words, etc.

We had reading class first thing in the morning for an hour and 15 minutes, and they would monitor us. The minute one of us would yawn, they’d have us read to the teacher and make sure we didn’t have a word we didn’t understand. It’s 8am! We can’t be tired? Everything was over-analyzed and blown out of proportion.

If we were sent to “ethics” to get “handled” by something wrong we did (i.e. not do our homework the night before) we were then under investigation and asked questions. Then after we went through all of their ethics steps, we were made to do “amends” and clean the bathrooms with everyone aware of our punishment. They would actually announce it to every member of the school. Are you kidding me?? What did that do for me from such a young age? It made me nervous, scared, thinking there was something wrong with me and I was going to die, at the age of 10 thinking that because I’d loose a few strands of hair in the shower that I had cancer, at the age of 9 having a panic attack thinking my heart was going to explode and asking my mom to feel my heartbeat because I was so scared to go to school the next day, thinking I was a bad person because I had a crush on a teacher’s friend.

I was in constant fear and constant stress. What would that do to any 6, 7, 8 year old? We weren’t able to live a normal happy childhood. If we did, we were made to believe we were a bad person and had to be punished. The ethics officer (I won’t mention any names), used to yell and scream at us in the office and get so out of hand you’d swear she was ready to slap you across the face and literally beat you. From such a young age I believed I was truly a horrible person.

When it was time for me to hit “the real world” and go to public school, two things happened. First, I felt a ton of weight come off of my shoulders. I realized I could sing 10x better, I played sports better, I laughed more, I had fun! But also, I failed miserably. Because that school was so caught up in over-analyzing our every move and our young lives, they kinda forgot to actually EDUCATE us. I didn’t know anything about our US history, I didn’t know chemistry, math, social studies, nothing… The only subject I was good at was, you guessed it, reading and writing. Why? That’s pretty much all this school had us do! We were never taught how to learn, never taught anything about the real world or its history….

When I was done with Ability School I felt like I was thrown into an ocean of sharks coming from true hell. Because I was doing so bad in school I dropped out at 16. I really didn’t realize even at that time how much the Scientology experience screwed me up. It ruined my self-esteem, my learning ability, my happiness and my thinking.

I rebelled and started sneaking out of the house and partying my teens away. One day by a miracle, I cleaned up my act and realized what had happened so far in my life… I was clearly able to think about why I was the way I was. Why I was so different from “all the other kids”, why I was so scared and why I didn’t/couldn’t learn.

I am 24 now, and still struggling to this day with education. The individuals in that school and the school itself truly suppressed me. The only memories I have of my younger life was hell and barely remembering any of my teen years.

It took me years to realize I’m not a bad person and to say hey, I’m actually doing great! I mean granted if I never went to that place, my life would surely have turned out differently. I would have gone through school with no problem and gone to college. But regardless I’m doing great. I’m grateful for all I have and the people in my life, I wouldn’t have met my wonderful fiance, I have a great supporting family and friends and a good head on my shoulders. I can do anything I put my mind to.

I still regret the past… it’s only been a few years since I realized my enemy (Scientology), but I’m sure my regret will slowly pass as time goes on. I never wanted to be a part of it, even before I was put in the school. But at 6, what do you know?

Any “religion” that disconnects you from your family – your blood, is not a religion that you should want to be involved in. I think it’s better to have a religion or belief that supports your own decisions as an individual so long as it doesn’t hurt others or yourself, one that supports forgiveness and individuality, one that lets you be free and happy. I don’t have any particular religion, I just go by my own beliefs and knowledge of what’s right and wrong, and I’ve never been better without Scientology in my life.

I didn’t have to go through the ordeal that a lot of others had to go through, like prying myself out of it. I was never a “true scientologist”. I was just brought into the atmosphere by the school. Someone I know sent me this website, and this is the first time I’ve aired my feelings out about my experience but I’m glad I did. I never wanted to hear the word Scientology, ethics, or any other word made up by this cult ever again. The very word sends anger and chills up my spine. I thank god that my family isn’t involved in this evil group anymore.

Miss. Sieber