Stuckin’s Scientology Story
Originally submitted in the ESK Forums
I’ve decided to write my story with precious few omissions, from A-Z about my time as a Scientologist. In order for some to understand how I got in, and how I got so far involved, I must give a little background information (keeping my identity as hidden as I can, I’m sure OSA will figure it out), so you can understand. Bare with me for a few—-
I grew up with a very devote Catholic mother and a military father. My Dad was not into any religion, so we were pretty screwed up from the jump start in this area. We became a product of divorce, and a nasty one at that! My goal was to graduate High School, get into college and get the hell out. I did just that. I graduated at 16, was accepted into many good schools and picked one. I also had a boyfriend. Hey, he was great at first, but shortly after we were married, he thought that pounding on me was a recreational activity. A Baby came soon after the marriage, I was still in school, working, then another baby, vicious cycle. I got my degree and a great job. The thing is, he controlled my money and he worked a shitty job, when he worked.
It was a don’t look now situation, 8 years later we had a few kids and I was trapped. Now I wasn’t stupid, I put a bit of money in an IRA and some in a secret savings account, but with being under his thumb all the time, it took a while to get a decent sum of money saved. This was in the 80’s when if you called the police about the abuse, they would say you go to bed and he will sleep on the couch…blah, blah, blah, domestic violence was not taken seriously. Then you have the emotional abuse, witch is worse than any beating I ever took. This is the parallel between battered wife syndrome and Scientology.
He left me, thankfully, and after a nasty divorce, I was free. Haven’t seen him in 12 ½ years, neither has any of his children. One was literally months old when he left!
This was really my first taste at freedom. I was searching for something to fill the void. I was the perfect raw meat for the CoS! I was living in Florida, 2 blocks from an org. I went in, I was given a pitch that sounded like the answers to everything I was seeking. I still had a good job and was doing pretty good for my little family. Trust me on this, I was supporting them by myself, I never saw a dollar of child support from the A-hole! Even had him jailed at one point, but he spent 4 months in jail rather than pay me a dime! It was better that way, then my kids didn’t have to deal with him.
Within a year I had 2 babysitters, one for when I was working and one for when I was working my bridge, at the org, taking courses, becoming more and more involved with the CoS. Hell, I was the perfect little member, spending money hand over fist on courses, auditing, making great case gain, they loved me! I kept my kids away from the org, not because I thought it was harmful, rather it was mine, all mine, even though the org wanted them involved. This was at this point and time, the only problem I has with the CoS.
I even kind of enjoyed my time in Clearwater.
Now came a big problem for the org but a lifesaver for me. I met my 2D. He was great. He loved me, he loved my kids, I loved him, I loved his kids, sounds great huh? One problem, he thought the CoS was bullshit. He spent time trying to convince me as much, but we loved each other so much, we agreed to disagree. We quickly moved in together, both families, and set up house. All seemed well in my world. I was working, putting my family above the CoS and spending less time at the org. I bet you can guess how well this went over…
I was called into the org, audited, I had overts and many withholds, and my 2D was deemed a PTS in my life, as was my mother, and almost every friend I had. Most of my friends were wogs. I was told that I needed to clear myself of these PTS and Sp’s in my life, retake the PTS/SP course, and things would get better for me. I didn’t see things as being bad. I already had problems with my mother. She thought I was losing my mind joining Scientology and she had already had it with me during the extensive abuse from my first marriage. I thought hey, maybe their on to something, maybe Mom is a PTS, and my friends, well, many were single, and lived differently than I did, so yeah, maybe they are a PTS… I was pretty messed up in the head by now. I cut everyone out of my life except my 2D. That was a non-negotiable point. Man, I was starting to sound like a reg around him, trying to get him to join, donate, etc. He finally decided to go with me one time, and it would be the only time I ever took him. They were very nice and gave him the hard sell but he wasn’t biting. I knew he wouldn’t, but it was worth a try. As we were leaving he quoted Marx “religion is the opiate of the masses”! I wanted to crawl under the nearest desk, or run out the door!
Of course I was called in the next day for auditing and he was deemed THE PTS my own connected SP! I was to disconnect from him. I had just found out I was pregnant. I expressed that I couldn’t leave, I loved him and I was pregnant. I was given a high pressure sale on having an abortion, and disconnecting, but I was adamant he was staying. I was then told to handle him. They would tell me how this would be done….at a later date.
By this time, I cashed in my IRA, all gone, savings all gone, monies left to me by my grandfather, nearly gone and I was still spending. Vicious cycle, work to spend, and spend and spend. I needed more and more courses due to my overts. I needed more auditing and all this cost money.
I didn’t want the org to back my rear into a corner and I would lose my 2D either by the CoS’s influence, or because he had enough of my scn ways. I was close to having my baby and I liked my family. He wanted to get married but this didn’t work for the org, so we didn’t for 8 years! I’ll get to that later. I had a healthy baby and all seemed well.
I was called into the org, less than a week after giving birth and told I must handle my 2D, he was hurting my progress and I’ve been downstat since he entered my life. They had a well laid out plan, that I would be given piece by piece, not all at once. First, They needed me for a job In California. It was up to me to get him to sell his business and move to CA with me. If I couldn’t get him to do this in a timely fashion, I was going to have to disconnect from him. I was to use any methods necessary for this to happen. It really wasn’t that hard to get him to sell, he was in the biz for so many years and a little tired. He did want assurance that we wouldn’t fall on our butts in CA and we had to have a place to live BEFORE we got there. The CoS found me a nice house to rent, and even “helped” me negotiate the rental agreement on this home. Pay a year up front at a seriously reduced rate. guess what? I was 3 miles from the org! It was a nice house, they found me a nice job, but didn’t help him find employment. Once there I was at the org even before I had my clothes unpacked, much less my home set up!
I had already flown out and interviewed for the job and was hired. I was to start my new job a week after our arrival. I was told that there were things that could be helpful to the org and help me make up for my overts if I helped them. They explained the inner workings of this company, and the man in particular that I would be the AA for, and what would be “helpful” for the CoS. I didn’t even know this much at this time about my position! My boss was a tyrant, but I acclimated myself with the job in days. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m good at what I do. I’m not the journalist I wanted to be, but hey, I’m good at my job. I knew what they wanted now as well. Basically, the main company was an acquisition company, and then there was a sub company that was a talent agency. As you can see this information was very useful to the org. I NEVER invested in anything related to this company. The information obtained, I know some of it was to try and recruit some up and coming young actors, as for the other side, I have my suspicions, I can’t prove anything, so I’ll let you come to that conclusion for yourselves. I was so guilt ridden, still am, that I became an insomniac. The org would dismiss this as I was doing this because we were fighting the SP’s for the betterment of society as a whole. I was supposed to turn over everything and definitely not keep copies. This is where I was not the best SCN… The only person I can trust in the entire world has this info just in case…
I was spending most of the money I was making at the org, we were falling on are rears and my 2D had enough of the CoS and me. An ultimatum was given to me by him, move after the lease was up, somewhere without SCN, Blow, lead a normal life, or he was taking our child and leaving. I agreed. I started to spend less and less time at the org, but they started calling more and more, even coming over, with was not good on the home front! We were secretly planning the move, without telling my new found scn friends, only 1 person knew and I didn’t think this person was Scn related. WRONG!
We moved to a little town in the middle of nowhere, with 1200 people in the whole town. It was in the middle of the bible belt, who would have known a town not too far away had an org! Within a few weeks the E/O showed up at my home. Our street didn’t even have a name! OMG it was a nightmare. I was told type III due to my 2D’s influence and I needed to get back to the org. I did. He was pissed off. When I returned home everyday I was truly expecting him and our child to be gone. The org had me… I just one day stopped going. Changed the phone number, they got the new one, stopped answering calls, emails etc, and thought the nightmare was over. One night in the middle of the night, our home went up in flames. The fire marshal said it was electrical, who knows, all I know is a 3 bedroom home was totally destroyed in 22 minutes! He finally had it, no more chances. He said we are moving back to FL where he has business contacts and a job waiting and I would just have to blow! Before we did that I wanted one thing, marriage. We got married, just us and the kids, then back to FL. When this happened we were homeless. Did the CoS help out? Hell no!
We got back to FL, he got back to work and I got my old job back. All was well, except I couldn’t avoid the CoS entirely. They were still evading my life. We were making good money again, we always bounce back, the kiddies were happy, all was well. My daughter decided even with the org’s hard sell she wasn’t joining, she was enlisting in the military. I was told to disconnect from her or be declared. I was like WTF?! Really, I didn’t care. Almost a year to the day from fire #1, our apt caught fire in FL. It was electrical from a faulty A/C unit, no doubt. I was burned pretty bad in the putting out of the fire. Because I was too busy with the org, I was neglecting my household duties like paying the renters ins. And we lost everything. This was yet another turning point in our relationship. If it wasn’t for my injury, he may have divorced me.
My daughter called ( military girl) and I told her I didn’t have to blow, I was being declared for not disconnecting from her. She said ” finally you’ll be away from that cult! Mom, the little kids don’t need to be around that stuff”. Wow what a profound statement from a kid.
I filed a lawsuit against the owners and all the sudden the CoS liked me again. Was it because they saw $$ in my future? Or did I know too much? I’ll never know.
Right after it happened, I was in the org and they told me I would have to deal with many SP’s and go to dr.’s to go through with the case. I was to fill meds, but not take them, as they were unnecessary. They would help me get back on course after the suit was over. Typical scn, lie when convenient.
Here we are 2 years later and my suit is at the end, latterly in weeks, unless I muck it up. In those 2 years we fell on our rears with medical bills, me not being able to work, etc. We moved to another state to get away from the CoS again. It seemed to have worked. During the discovery process of the suit, they stayed away. It involved PI’s, throwing hippa our the door, and everything in my life, past included being on open display. Just recently have they come back into our lives. Not many people even know where we are. I started getting emails, then calls on an unlisted phone number and a new cell number, then they showed up at the door. My case, any case is a matter of public record for a few bucks. I think they were watching my case covertly, waiting to pounce at the end. My 2D and I were doing better than ever, and now here they are again! This time it was very aggressive.
I wasn’t falling for the hard sell, but I have to be on my best behavior, because with the case so close I have more PI’s and I’m not sure they are all from the ins company. Not too long ago, we were out all day and my neighbors were telling me two different people were at my apt, banging on the door, they thought they were police by the way they were banging so they checked. They were told they were “friends” of ours. I got home and my phone had been blasted up by the org, call after call. I checked my email, and 3 of them.
The next day a member came over and insisted I come in to the org. She was insistent about driving. The entire ride was in complete silence. When I got there, I was the only member at the org. There was staff the E/O and someone who I’m guessing was OSA. I was yelled at for about an hour on how all the SP’s in my life have been a detriment to my bridge, I was causing flap with my overts and withholds, etc. I was hysterical. Then came the sec check. They “knew” I had withholds. Hours to be exact. Then they left the room. The man who I think is OSA, the E/O and the woman who brought me, all came back in and were telling me, we know you had contact with so and so ( they went through my cell phone call log!), Then they said we understand you have to deal with these SP’s for a little longer ( they knew the exact date), but we will help you. I have had a hard time just feeding my kids for months and now I was about to lose the case because I can get the 1,500 to get to Fl. If I don’t get there the other side will ask for it to be dismissed. In the mean time, I’m screwed up for life!
The CoS had a solution, they would lend me the $$ on a loan, the lady who picked me up would accompany me to FL, and my 2D was to stay here! Screw that! I’d rather lose the case. Not that I want to, but when you get in bed with a snake you will get bite! ( I’m leaving out a lot of what was said in these hours to protect my identity). As of today, I have 2 days to get the money or game over.
2 days ago, after the events with the org, my 2D told me he just can’t take it anymore, he wanted a divorce. The only other people who mean more to me are my children. I have lost a huge part of me. I was a fool. Scientology cost me almost every relationship in my life. I have no one but my children, I’ve never felt so lonely. This is what Scn does, this is the face of SCN! This is most of my story.