Post Fri Sep 20, 2013 2:33 am

Born & raised....

Hey there,

I was born and raised in Scientology. Did my first course when I was 5 years old. Both parents were on staff at our local org. I signed my first Sea Org contract when I was 10, and was so proud of it. First joined when I was 13 at CLONY, but was offloaded after three months for having a history of not washing my socks regularly enough or something (the Fitness Board was very vague). I joined again when I was 16 at Flag (2003). Was on the TTC and then posted as a Word Clearer. Got married just after my 19th birthday. A year later my husband was offloaded. I was informed after the fact, and was never given the chance to speak to him or say goodbye. After a month of being yelled at to get my own PC folder out of the C/S while simultaneously being told I was Dev-T and a "body" in the Staff HGC, I made a decision and got myself kicked out good and fast.

That was six years ago, and I have had no involvement with the church since, but I am only just now starting to look at my experiences without assuming I was the bad guy and they were just trying to clear the planet. It's pretty scary how ingrained the instruction to not look at anti-Scientology stuff is - it wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I had the courage to buy and read Jenna's book. I was roommates with one of her cousins at Flag, so I figured maybe I could fact-check some of Jenna's story against what I knew from living with her cousin - otherwise, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to believe any of it (even though I wanted to). It was painfully eye-opening. I've been weirdly defensive of/secretive about my involvement in Scientology up until now, but hearing other people tell stories that I have lived through makes them sound a lot crazier... and has been helping me realize that maybe I haven't been the asshole all along. I've also finally started opening up and talking to my boyfriend and some friends about both my current emotions and my past experiences, and that has been very helpful - the looks of shock I get when I tell them about the most mundane, "normal" aspects of SO life are amazing. Some of my family is still very involved, and my youngest brother is now at Flag. He swears up and down that he's happy as a clam, and literally talks about almost nothing other than how nice the weather is (it's bad enough that my other brother once interrupted him with, "yeah, I bet the roads are great, too!").

Anyway, thank you all for putting your stories out here. It is very reassuring to know that I am not alone.