A poster on another tread suggested that using lies to smooth over things is the best way to deal with a relative who still in the cult. It wasn’t clear if that person was in the cult, but in either case my comments are not directed at him but rather at those of you who were. (or still are)
The first principle of the cult is that the only things that survive and persist are those that are based on or contain lies. A quick study of Elrong’s bogus biography shows that he clearly believed this principle to be true and workable.
While telling the occasional white lie may not have any bad psychological effects on normal people, for those of us indoctrinated in the cult, it can be a hard, bad habit to break: being insincere. Most of us did it in session and to our acquaintances who were not in the cult.
Maintaining a lie requires a lot of mental energy. It means keeping close track of what was earlier said and to whom. It also introduces false information into the relationship which can lead the recipient astray, as well as causing distress and confusion. Additionally, lying to others often is accompanied by lying to self, whether consciously or unconsciously.
IMO it is safer and better to stick to the truth, even if you have to temper it with a question or doubt. Such as: “Isn’t there something in there about exorcism?” “Is it true that they make people disconnect from relatives for disagreeing with them?” Or some such.
Those kind of questions and gentle prodding can cause cognitive dissonance and help restart the critical thinking process. It doesn’t have to, as that other poster implied, be a big confrontational blow-up if it’s approached with preparation and care. “Cultinformed” suggested a wise approach.
So I suggest you give the truth a try before resorting to the cult’s methods for controlling people.
You have to pay to get out of going through all these things twice" - B Dylan