Stuckin's full story.....

Wow that gets my blood boiling.

You seem to acknowledge that the CoS is not a good part of your life. I hope you trust that feeling, and embrace it.

The CoS only has the power you give them. Their threats are worthless. They are all a bunch of fools, but you can be wise if you see that they have no clothes.

I was never in CoS, so I may sound trite, and I apologize. I have fallen for other things though, and when I saw the truth and excised them from my life like a cancer, without looking back, and denying completely, they eventually moved on, and I was free again.

From my perspective, your greatest goal should be fleeing the CoS. Your kids are hungry because of them. Your 2D feels betrayed because of them. All they have given you is misery, as that is all they ever offer. Do not feel bad, you are not alone. Be strong, and laugh in their faces. Perhaps if you can cut all your ties your 2D will renew his faith in you, and your family will have money again.

There are no overts, there are no withholds, there are no SPs. They don't exist. It is all smoke and mirrors.

Sorry for the rant if it does not help, but I feel your suffering and felt the need to express myself. This community is here for you though, I wish you the best.

[James McGuigan]

James:

Thanks for the move. Too bad we all became apart of a group that is so sick, and hurtful, as SCN is, but I really have met many nice, understanding people on here. I'm sure things will work out. Just have to NEVER go back. I take everything one day at a time these days. Sometime, an hour at a time. Telling my story (full story) has freed me, if that makes any sence.

Properly directed anger is a very powerful emotion! I'm alot lonlier these days, since I basically cut off all my friends who were wogs when I joined, and now cut off all SCN firends, so it's like a new begining.

Now I have to re-find the things I liked to do before SCN. If I start to develope a normal exhistance, I think my husband will come back. It's not me he hates, it's the org.

[James McGuigan]

Sometimes its not until you have lost everything, that you are free to have anything.