One couple that I knew who were both very valuable SO members and who’s only fault was wanting to keep their baby, where being shipped to the Kansas City org. That org was in very bad shape. There was only one person left on staff trying to keep the doors open. He even left as soon as they arrived. How was this young couple soon having a baby supposed to make a living out of this? I heard it said that since they were SO members, they shouldn’t have had a baby so they pulled all this in and they just had to make it go right. In other words screw them and screw them good, I was starting to see.

Before the ED was issued, some SO members did have babies. They were put in the nursery, which was nearby, but I don’t know where it was located. This was where they had the barley water babies. Hubbard claimed that it was very nutritional, even better than breast milk or formula. It was the water left from boiling barley with added sweeteners, like corn syrup. He claimed that he saved his premature newborn son only because he took him away from the hospital and doctors and fed him barley water.

I clearly remember also reading in this story written by Hubbard that it was better than breast milk because there were few Guernsey-type mothers. He said most breast fed babies were just starving for more food that their mothers could not naturally provide. I don’t know why he was down on formula, probably because it was more expensive than barley water or because formula is based on scientific research, not Scientology which is supposed to be the answer for everything. I think it was all just part of Hubbard’s solution to separate babies from their mothers to get her back to work and away from the baby as soon as possible.

One of the nannies who worked in the nursery was in the dorm room where I stayed for my first 3 months before a space could be found for my husband and I. PAC (the big blue LA building) is in an old hospital. So I was in a small hospital room filled with 4 bunk beds, 3 levels high, yes, that was 12 women in this tiny room. I was in the middle and the nanny was in the top of our bunk. To be honest, she was probably a typical example of an SO nanny. She had mild retardation (definitely a management reject). I asked her if the babies were fed the barley water like I had read. She said, oh yes, they make a lot of barley water for them. She was kindly but clearly overworked and overwhelmed by the nursery. She worked very long hours on little sleep just like the rest of us and was quite burned out.

I felt sorry for the babies being away from their parents about 15 hours or more a day and to be raised like that.

Another example of child separation from parents I witnessed. I noticed that the SO member that recruited me had a small daughter age 2 or 3. I would see him with her in the morning or late at night, but I never saw the mother. When I finally had the chance, I asked him about his daughter and where her mom was. He said very matter-of-factly that she was in the RPF so she wasn’t allowed to stay with them. I was pretty shocked by this but he just seemed to shrug it off. When she was out of the RPF someday, she would come back and stay with them. She would have been in the same building, but she wasn’t even allowed to be with or even see her husband and little girl.

The RPFed SO members had to stay in the RPF dorms away from the other berthing and it could take several years to get out. It still haunts me how adorable that little girl was and how sad that her mother was taken away though she was still working and living in the same building. So inhumane.

Sometime after I got out of Scientology, I realized that something specific had snapped inside of me that made me realize that all of the inhumane things I was witnessing were not justified by Scientology goals having the greater good. All of the abuses that went on were worth it, you simply had to have that mindset to make it in the SO. The lack of sleep, the yelling and degrading, the horrible living conditions, the long hours with no days off, earning only $30 a week, being separated from family who didn’t want you there and every awful thing that happened that you normally would never have stood for, it was all worth it if Scientology prevailed to save the planet. Every scientologist is indoctrinated that the ends justifies the means. That is why we put up with so much that that is wrong.

Tory Christman, who used to work in OSA, says that scientologists “flip it”. When something pops up that goes against their beliefs or morals, they flip it down so they can ignore it. When you can’t flip it anymore, it will lead to your wanting to leave.

Here’s my unflippable story: about 2 weeks before I left, I was sitting at my desk working on my computer like I so very often did. There was a person in my office whose job it was to handle the SO parents who got pregnant. She came storming into the office in a furious rage with a group of other people I worked with. Someone else had gotten pregnant and she was trying to handle it. What made her so mad was that the woman was actually glad that she was pregnant and she even wanted to have the baby. In fact, she was even trying to get pregnant! She and her husband were happy about it!

I realized that not a lot of SO members were being routed out to have babies when there was a pregnancy; they were being coerced to the point of being forced to have an abortion. That was her real job, to convince people to abort their babies and route out the parents when she failed. I wondered how many women who were married were forced into an abortion when they normally would choose to have their baby.

I soon talked with a co-worker about it (they probably saw that I needed to be handled though I tried not to get involved). She had been married and in the SO for several years and she had an abortion and thought others should too. She said it was simply off-purpose for a Sea Org member to have a baby. But the cruelty of the situation really hit me.

From that point on, I knew that Scientology didn’t care about anyone. They were just using people like slaves for their own personal gain. It’s a good thing for me I wasn’t routed right into a sec check and forced to have this same mindset.

Anything and I do mean anything that a person considers to have any importance, besides Scientology is considered “other fish to fry”. It is probably difficult for someone who has never been involved in a cult mindset to understand this. Giving attention to your children is definitely in the “other fish” category. The bottom line is that properly raising children by giving them all of the time and energy necessary is “off policy” in the so-called church of Scientology. Yet they have done so much PR to sell themselves as being pro-family. Believe me, nothing is further from the truth.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I have many stories of my Scientology experiences as do so many others. It really feels good to write it down and put it up on the internet.

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